“When I Speaks Too Loud, We Disappears”

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Why Do We Speak More Than We Listen?

1. Desire to Be Heard: Speaking gives us a sense of identity. When we speak, we feel seen, valued, and acknowledged.

2. Ego and Recognition: Often, we speak not to connect, but to highlight our achievements — “I have done this, I am this, I achieved this.” It becomes about showcasing self-worth.

3. Fear of Silence: Many people are uncomfortable with silence. Speaking fills the gaps where deep listening or reflection should be.

4. Lack of Patience or Empathy: Listening requires effort, attention, and humility. But ego prefers expression over reception.

🧠 Why Do We Use "I" More Than "We"?

1. Individualism Over Collectivism: Society today often celebrates individual success rather than shared effort.

2. Control and Ownership: Saying "I did it" gives us ownership and power. “We” might feel like we’re sharing credit.

3. Insecurity: Constantly saying “I” can be a hidden way of proving self-worth or seeking validation from others.

Is It Good to Always Speak and Emphasize 'I'?

It depends:

Healthy Confidence: It’s okay to say “I” when taking responsibility or expressing your feelings.

Overused Ego: But when “I” becomes a tool to elevate oneself while ignoring others, it creates distance, pride, and even arrogance.

The Value of Listening and Saying 'We'

Listening builds connection.

'We' builds unity and shared responsibility.

It shifts focus from pride to purpose.

Your Insight: "Me is included in We."

That is a beautiful realization.

“I am because we are.” – Ubuntu philosophy

When we recognize that my success is part of a bigger 'we' — our family, team, community — we grow in humility and gratitude.

“From ‘I’ to ‘We’: Listening Beyond the Ego”
or
“Why We Speak More Than We Listen: A Journey from Ego to Empathy”
Why Do We Speak About "I", "Me", "My Goals", "My Achievements", "My Superiority"?

In today’s world, most of us are busy speaking — not just speaking, but speaking about ourselves.

We speak about “I have done this,”
“These are my goals,”
“I achieved that,”
“I am superior,”
“I am different,”
“I am the leader.”

But have we ever paused and asked why?

1. To Be Noticed

We speak about ourselves because we want others to notice us. We want attention, appreciation, and recognition.
We feel that if I don’t speak about myself, no one will know me.

2. To Prove Our Worth

We often think that if we share our achievements, others will respect us more.
We try to prove:
“I am not ordinary.”
“I have value.”
“I am better.”

This may come from insecurity, or a need to show we matter.

3. To Show Power or Superiority

Sometimes, it’s not about sharing — it’s about showing off.
We speak of our degrees, our success, our knowledge, our position — to rise above others, to feel more important.

But this is where ego enters.
This is where "I" becomes heavier than truth.

4. Me is Already Included in We

We forget — the word "We" already includes "Me."
When I say “We did it”, it still means I was part of it.
But when I say “I did it”, I erase others.

In a family, a team, a community, a school — nothing is achieved alone.
So why remove the others from the sentence?

5. What Happens When We Don’t Listen?

When everyone speaks about themselves, who listens?
When everyone wants to be “on the stage,” who will sit in the audience?

Listening is rare.
Speaking is everywhere.

But true wisdom is found in listening — not in boasting.

So, Is Speaking About Myself Bad?

No. It’s not wrong to speak about your goals or achievements.
But intention matters:

Are you sharing to inspire or to compete?

Are you speaking to connect or to prove?

A Better Way:

Let actions speak more than words.

Let “we” replace too much “I.”

Let listening become more important than expressing.

Let humility replace pride.

"A candle does not lose its light by lighting another candle."

When we stop shouting “I” and start living “we,”
we become not just heard, but remembered.

@Shaista-Begum Shaista Begum, your message resonates deeply — not just as a reflection, but as a mirror to how our modern world often functions.

@Shaista-Begum We live in an age where individual identity is constantly broadcast — through status updates, achievements, and personal branding. While there's nothing wrong with recognizing our own value, you’ve beautifully reminded us of something more powerful: the quiet strength of humility and connection.

@Shaista-Begum
🧠 Your question — "Why do we speak more than we listen?" — pierces through modern habits.
Often, we confuse speaking with strength, and silence with weakness. But as you highlighted, listening requires far more courage. It requires us to step back, dissolve ego, and give space to another soul. That is not passive — that is powerful.

@Shaista-Begum
"Me is already included in We" — this is a line that deserves to be printed on every school wall and every heart. In a time where collaboration is essential, we still hold tightly to "I" like a badge of honor. But true leadership, true wisdom, is when one uplifts many — not by standing above them, but among them.

@Shaista-Begum
From Ubuntu philosophy to your closing metaphor of a candle lighting another — your message gently calls us to a collective awakening:
To let our achievements inspire, not isolate.
To let our stories connect, not compete.
To let our speech be balanced with presence and listening.

@Shaista-Begum Thank you for such a timely, soul-stirring reminder. May we all speak less to impress, and more to understand. And may we learn to listen with the heart, not just the ears — because in the silence of true listening, transformation begins

@Shaista-Begum
Thank you, Shaista Begum, for this profoundly reflective and soul-stirring message. Your words don’t just speak they invite silence, introspection, and a much-needed pause in today’s self-centered noise.
Your breakdown of why we often overuse “I” and underuse “we” is not only thoughtful but deeply human. We all want to be seen and valued but as you beautifully reminded us, true connection is built through listening, humility, and shared purpose.
The line “Me is already included in We” carries such quiet power it’s a reminder that greatness doesn’t require spotlighting ourselves but lifting others alongside us.
Let’s move toward a world where we listen to understand, speak to uplift, and lead not from the front, but from within the circle. Thank you for guiding us on this